This week I have been totally preoccupied by our new kitten,
Watson. He has thrown my whole routine out and after taking up residence in the
room where I write has quickly found a place in my heart too.
He is nine weeks old today and has experienced a steep
learning curve; separation from his family, two new strange humans and a whole
new environment to explore.
Upon arrival he was understandably nervous and responded to
new sights and sounds by arching his back and the occasional hiss. This would
be followed by an unbalanced skittish walk to his place of safety (between the
desk and the skirting board). Although this was amusing, it was also
frustrating. I wanted so much to be able to explain to him that he did not need
to be afraid. Over the past few days he has been slowly learning that we are
safe. Now when we come to see him he runs to meet us at the door. New objects,
especially ping-pong balls, are still things that cause him concern, but he is
beginning to look to us for reassurance.
I have been pondering the learning process of a kitten, my
friend’s toddler and a polyglot – Richard Simcott. Richard Simcott has learnt
over 30 languages. He regularly speaks in 5 different languages at home and
uses more in his job as Languages Director at Emoderation Ltd. Although he
started learning languages at school they continue to fascinate him and at 36
he is still adding new languages to his collection. He regularly speaks and has
his own blog encouraging people to learn new languages.
At school we were taught, French, German and Latin and I
didn’t feel that I did very well at any of them; although I loved the ancient
history stuff that we covered in Latin. I seem to remember being taught that if
you didn’t get languages at school then there was no real hope for you as an
adult learner. Dr Kathleen Taylor states “The brain is plastic and continues to
change, not in getting bigger but allowing for greater complexity and
understanding.” So we have the capacity but it seems our adult brains are often
underused. Many people feel they have learnt enough and become experts in their
field, for others it is just too scary to learn something new.
Fear is a barrier to adults learning something new. Adults
are generally much more concerned with getting it right first time and over-thinking
the process. As a child, we would repeat the action till we got it wrong, then
we would be encouraged to pick ourselves up and start again. If we fell off the
bike, it didn’t mean we could not ride a bike, it simply meant we needed to
practise more. We don’t often apply this same principle as adults, getting it
wrong = failure and we translate this to mean that we are no good at said
activity. It is a good job we do not teach this to children or they would never
learn to walk, talk or use the toilet! It seems to make sense to try a more
child-like approach to learning – try till you fail, then try again, have fun
while you’re doing it and celebrate the success.
As a teacher I discovered a love of learning and knew I
wanted to use more of my time to develop new skills. Since leaving teaching I
have started a creative writing course, I am using an app to learn Italian and
in response to some family health issues I am broadening my recipe repertoire
and cooking outside of my comfort zone. I’ve realised too that learning is
bigger than this, it is not just a stage of life but I believe something that
makes up ‘the good life.’ It opens new doors, encourages new relationships, it
keeps us flexible and deepens our understanding of the world and others.
What are you learning or would you like to learn?
What holds you back from learning new things?
I feel I am on a constant learning curve in my current season (mum to two small people). It's definitely less steep than it was - it was vertical at some stages! So each day I learn something new.
ReplyDeleteFear holds me back from learning or doing new things. There's a few things I'd like to try next year - hopefully I'll be brave enough!
Every step you take away from fear is one towards freedom - you're doing it. I can see it happening. :)
DeleteHi Suzi, strange one this but I am learning a little bit about my greatest fear, the shadow, the darkness, the blind-spot that has been following me my whole life, that no one wants to turn and face because the truth is just too horrible. It is the unknown, unexplained something that gives some people their drive in their life.
ReplyDeleteFor some people that can be a healthy and functioning drive, but in others it can be unhealthy or dysfunctional or both, or a person can all of a sudden go from functioning to crashing and burning for no apparent, clear or logical reason, sort of swinging from one to the other.
For me, my fear is the same thing as the fatal flaw in my personality. To be able to really talk to someone about your fear, you need to feel completely safe, whether that is physically safe or emotionally safe, free from harm or judgement, danger or shame. That safe, empty emotionless space is virtually non-existent and in our culture we can only talk to professionals or priests in this space, because if we know the listener in our lives we want them to have a good opinion of us.
What I'm learning about my fear and my flaw it that is it very vicious and makes me very upset in certain circumstances. Textbook psycho-analysis childhood trauma, except that nothing actually happened to me. But yet the fear and flaw seriously and acutally do affect me, for example in my dealings with certain people, not perpetually but on a recurring basis, as if something had happened.
Everyone has some kind of fear, but I don't think everyone feels like this, and that is a hard lesson that I am learning. Fear is a primary driver, and can lead to success and great flourishing, but it is a cliche that the inside and the outside may be very different. So going back to the good life, if you can flourish without fear or free yourself from fear, that life I imagine is more complete than flourishing through fear or being fearful. And like Dido Pilgrim, fear is holding me back. But there is nothing to be afaid of! That is such a hard lesson when it is what drives you. I am also afraid that there is nothing I can do to let go and so escape the vicious circle of fear. Now that is sounding very strange!
Fear is so complex - like you say it can be the driving force or a paralysing fog. I vocalised some fears with someone I trust recently - feeling like a total fool - but knowing that saying the words would actually break some of the power that the fear itself had. The response - empathy from the listener and a much greater sense of freedom as a result of talking and prayer. Fear of other people and their opinion of us is so strong and we're taught as children not to give in to this fear but the reality is that it is much harder than simply hearing that we shouldn't. I think fear is multi-layered and it is stripping back those layers that is hard but ultimately where freedom lies.
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